Wednesday, December 28, 2005

He’s always on my mind
From the time I wake up till I close my eyes
He’s everywhere I go
He’s all I know
Though he’s so far away
It just keep getting stronger
Everyday
Even now he’s gone
I’m still holding on
So, tell me where do I start cause it’s breaking my heart
Don’t want to let him go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find their way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
Cause heaven knows
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love him
You got to set him free
If he returns in kind
I’ll know he’s mine
Tell me where do I start
Cause its breaking my heart
Don’t want to let him go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find their way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
Cause heaven knows
Why I live in despair
Cause wide awake I’m dreaming
I know he’s never there
And all the time I act so brave I’m shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so?
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find their way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
Cause heaven knows
I've waited patiently...... I stood by myself loving and caring for you.... I ask for nothing more than a thought of me once in a while or a special smile. I've waited long and hard and i think it's time i stop. I think it's time to leave and cease thinking about you. I chose to forget and so it begins.
I've never lied to you nor have i not trusted you. Never have i stopped loving nor caring for you. I've been standing in your shadows long enough and its time i fade away. You knew i will always be there for you. If ever you call, i'll still be there. My eternal promise to you.
I can no longer endure your everlasting ignorance nor can i endure you taking advantage of me. I remember clearly who you are.... Really i do. I never forgot who you are and i think i never will. That is why, and sad to say, I have to leave and tell this lie. I told you once that i will just one day fade out and eventually disappear from your life. If ever you remember me, it'll be too late. I am no longer around.
It is clear where i should go and what i should do. I miss you and i love you. I've tried, i tried really hard. It is never easy for me and it will never be. To say i don't remember you and walk away. And it wasn't easy for me either with you ignoring me all these time and pretended i didn't exist.
Now that i'm gone. Maybe you'll finally think of me and remember me. Or maybe i'll just fade and disappear without you even noticing.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

What does it mean by moving on?

Once again, just when i managed to stop thinking about you, someone mentions you. Everything just comes back. I really don't want to think about you anymore. I want to stop missing you. I want to forget...... I really want to not have anything to do with you. I chose not to be around you anymore..... I love you and i miss you... But i can't be around you anymore.

Choices are hard to make. I've made my choice. I can't love someone who does not even know how i feel. I can't love someone who does not think about me. I can't love someone who does not miss me.

Loving you has never been harder. I want so much to be there for you but i can't. I really don't know how to go on....

Sunday, December 11, 2005

A little time spent together....

After a while of not being able to see or talk to you for no apparent reason...... I am glad that i finally had some time with you alone. Not much has been said in the 5 hours.... but the eyes and smiles were enough to make it a great day...... Haven't really felt so easily contented in a while. Everything was simple as it was.... just a movie and some extra time to walk around looking for Christmas decorations. It's true that time flies when you are having fun. I did! I enjoyed myself truly..... No regrets... No complains..... Just a good 5 hours worth of smiles, jokes and laughs.