Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Am i with the right person?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a
common question.

She said,” How do I know if I am with the right
person?"

I noticed that there was a man sitting next to her
so I said, "It depends. Is that your partner?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you
know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances
are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's
the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning,
you fell in love with your partner. You anticipated
their call, wanted their touch, and liked
their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your partner wasn't hard. In fact,
it was a completely natural and spontaneous
experience.

You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's
called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO
YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my
feet." Think about the imagery of that expression.
It implies that you were just standing there; doing
nothing, and then something came along and
happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and
spontaneous experience. But after a while, the
euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of
EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone
calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch
is not always welcome (when it happens), and
your partner's idiosyncrasies, instead of being
cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every
relationship, but if you think about your
relationship, you will notice a dramatic difference
between the initial stage when you were in love
and a much duller or even angry subsequent
stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start
asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you
and your partner reflect on the euphoria of the love
you once had, you may begin to desire that
experience with someone else. This is when
realationship breaks down. People blame their
partner for their unhappiness and look outside their
relationship for fulfilment.

Infidelity fulfilment comes in all shapes and sizes.
But sometimes people turn to work, church, a
hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive
substances. But the answer to this dilemma does
NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with
someone else. You could and TEMPORARILY
you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same
situation a few years later. Because (listen
carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN RELATIONSHIP
IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU
FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous
experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You
can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it
day in and day out. That's why we have the
expression "the labour of love." Because it takes
time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it
takes WISDOM.

You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your
relationship work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery.

There are specific things you can do (with or
without your partner) to succeed with your
relationship.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe
(such as gravity), there are also laws for
relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise
program makes you physically stronger, certain
habits in your relationship WILL make your own
relationship stronger. It's a direct cause and effect.
If you know and apply the laws, the results are
predictable... you can "make" love.

Love in relationship is indeed a "decision"... Not
just a feeling.





1 comment:

GeNiaL said...

I have read this article before over and over again and I still love reading it up to now! I Thanks for posting it up babe :)